Yes, I really said that.

Patron (whispering): Do you have that Fifty Shades of Grey Book?
Me: Not on the shelf, but I can put you on the waiting list. There are 550 people on the list.
Patron: Oh. Well I heard it was really hot!
Me: Not really. I was was reading something last night that would singe your eyebrows off.
Patron: Really? Sign me up for that book!

Book in question: Sweet Addiction by Maya Banks. Cover shot is of a shapely female torso, wearing pink lace panties, kneeling on a white fur rug, with her hands bound behind her back with a string of pearls.
Dare you to put that on your new book rack near the front door!

Someone took our rental copy of Fifty Shades of Grey off display and hid it back in the stacks today. Because we shouldn't have that evil book on display. Or maybe they wanted to sneak-a-peak. Really, I read it. It's not that hot. Kind of boring, really. Every library has something on the shelf that is hotter/ more explicit/ more shocking the Fifty Shades (and way better written). I'm making a list. I'll let you know.

Can you imagine that "read alike" list? If you liked Fifty Shades of Grey... if you liked the hot bondage sex toy scenes intense physical relationship of the characters...

Fifty Shades trilogy are really three different sub-genres of romance. Book one, erotica, or "erotic romance". Book two reads like a category romance- alpha male marries young innocent girl. Book three is romantic suspense/ woman in jeopardy. Bad guy goes after girl, hero saves her.
Porn? Smut? Not even close. Trust me on this.

Just another day at the library...

The internet was broken. For the entire county. All day. Broken. No circulation. No catalog. No processing. No email. No surfing the net.

Great day for the mom with 6 kids to come to the library for the first time ever to get cards for everybody and to check-out stacks of books on each and every card, (which we have to write down to input later) which the kids then left setting on various shelves and tables all over the library, forgot about, left the building, then came back an hour later, wanting to know where their books were , (which had by then been re-shelved) and by the way, did we have any books on (insert random obscure subject here). No, I can not look that up. There is no catalog today.

The internet is broken. All day. Broken. Yes, that includes the wireless. Yes, I know the wireless is wireless, but it's still broken.Yes, it is broken. The internet is broken. All of it.

Yes, I love my job, but I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. And for the love of all things holy, please let the internet be fixed. Please.

All about Me Me Me; and why I'm here, now.

You can thank on of my neighbors for the launching of this blog this weekend. Someone somewhere was burning brush in the area, which  just happened to  include some of a magical plant called poison ivy. Yes, poison ivy, when burned, becomes airborne, and comes looking for me. When I took Dog out when I got home from work Friday, I smelled smoke. No big deal. Saturday I woke up and realized I was going to the Book Sale/ Summer Reading grand opening looking sort of like a puffer fish. Yes, dear neighbor, airborne poison ivy will cover any exposed skin...hands, arms, feet, legs, face. It can get into someones eyes, ears, nose, even someones lungs.You get the picture.

 

I was far enough away point of origin that I was dealing with puffy eyes, and batches of blisters on my hands and arms. I figured I could wait till Monday to get the medication to tell my immune system to shut the hell up. You have to yell at my immune system, or else it just laughs at you. If fact, my immune system was having so much fun, it kept me up all night. All. Night. I figured I could lie in bed, awake, forcing myself not to scratch my face off, or get up and do something. Anything. 

and in my agony,

A BLOG IS BORN!

making use of the two years worth of articles, statistics, and readings about the

ROMANCE GENRE  

Every once in a while, I grab a book that has a lot of what might be called "man-titty" on the cover, flash it a someone, who I know won't be offended, sigh loudly, and whine "Look what I have to read for work!" with my best sad face. And before you ask, yes, I have read all three "Fifty Shades of Grey", and am doing my best to forget. Please, let me forget. Just for a while.  

 On Sunday morning I realized the rest of my face was getting red and blotchy and I was in for more fun. The fact that it was around my nose and mouth made me a bit concerned I might have inhaled. So I got to have the new experience of going to one of those quick care medical places. Just for context: I have a few auto-immune disorders, so I am no stranger to all sorts doctors, had a few hospital stays, and one trip to the emergency room for a migraine. (After six hours on a gurney, they gave me an ibuprofen, and charged me a lot of money) At the quick care place, it took half an hour, I got the medication I needed, and just had a co-pay. I gave the receptionist a happy thumbs-up while I was leaving, and cheerfully told her I'd be seeing them all again sometime. She looked kind of confused. I did a happy dance to the car. 

So that was my weekend, and is why it seems like I'm doing a whole bunch of stuff in one day. I'm really just pulling out files I've been working on over the last few years, using my 15 years at the library, a lifetime of reading everything I could get my hands on, and 25 years of concentrated reading of romances. I have a few things to say.

Manifesto of an angry Romance Reading Librarian

    I am writing this for all the romance readers who don’t go to the library in the first place because they don’t expect to find romance novels in the collection, and if they do, they are afraid the person behind the counter will look down on them for their reading choices.
    I am writing this for one of my patrons who asked for author recommendations in hushed tones, then told me she sneaks the books home in bags, hides them, and reads them in secret because her family makes fun of her for reading them.
    I am writing this for men who feel they have to send their wives in to pick up the romance novels, because as we all know, men don’t read these kinds of books.

    I am writing this because of the bookstore clerk who had a very loud discussion with another clerk about how she had read “one of those romance books”, and it was nothing but pornography, and what kind of person would read that kind of junk. I’m sure the women standing in the romance aisle that day felt very comfortable.
    I am writing this because of the professional librarians who have said in effect “Well, we don’t read those kinds of books, but the patrons sure like them!”
    I am writing this because up until recently, our library system didn’t even catalog romance novels. When they were finally cataloged (just like real books), the staff were amazed at how much they circulated.

    I am writing this because I want to defend the right to read… for everyone. The romance genre is vast. There is, quite literally,  a book for every taste. Romance novels tell stories that entertain, educate, and bring joy to readers. It is literature written by women, for women, about women. Anytime we, as librarians, deny access to these books either by not buying them for the library, or by putting people off because of our attitude at the check-out counter, we alienate the very people we are trying to serve. Think about it!
    I am writing this because the people closest to me are tired of my rants on this subject every time another person, who has obviously never read a romance novel in their whole life, writes yet another condescending article about “bodice rippers” and the frumpy bon-bon eating housewives who read them. In future posts, I’ll get into the stereotypes, and why they are wrong…I have statistics and everything! With this blog, I can rant to the whole world! I can hardly wait to get started!

Written August 2010